Mental Breakdown
by flyingpanda4
Summary: What happens when Arthur gets his hands on the Sims 3? Alfred's about to find out... and wish he hadn't. And who's this other mysterious blonde character? Complete crack and craziness, oneshot, human names used. T for Alfred's language. Co-written with Northfaerie. You've been warned!


Co-Written by: flyingpanda4 and Northfaerie.

Alright, so this is the final product of an interesting dinner conversation. Enjoy.

**Warning: This story contains extreme crack, extreme OOCness and hints of incest. Do not take any of it seriously.**

Mental Breakdown

It all started with the Sims 3. Arthur hadn't been seen for three days. No one knew where he was, who he was with or what he was doing. All that was certain was that he was gone. Alfred decided that he was going to investigate. He was gonna be AWESOME and be all Sherin Homes like, or whatever the crap his name was.

The day Alfred entered Arthur's cottage was a strange day indeed. The sun was shining rather brightly, considering it was England. He knocked on the door several times without answer, so being the awesome hero he was, decided to come in through the window. He discovered later that the door was in fact, unlocked. He searched all over the house, but to no avail. Though he did find a rather interesting pile of some crap called "DOE-GIN-SHE", with pictures of himself and some random dude named Matthew.

After what seemed like FOREVER of searching (10 minutes), he found a TOTALLY AWESOME trapdoor under a rug. The trapdoor led down to Arthur's basement, it was full of weird, old stuff like: broomsticks, skulls, a walkman, a VHS player, some wands and unopened jars of opium. There was also a door AND THE LIGHT ON THE OTHER SIDE WAS _ON._ Alfred very cautiously opened the door, only to come face to face with Arthur, pants half down, on the toilet next to a box of oat bran and a water cooler. He was staring very intently at a laptop.

"Uh, hey dude." said Alfred as Arthur slowly turned to look at him.

"Oh! _Hehehe_ Hello, Alfred. Lovely day, isn't it?" said Arthur with a maniacal smile on his face.

"Dude, how long have you been down here?"

"I don't know, probably only a couple of hours... _Hehe_."

"Why is there a water cooler?... And what the crap are you _doing_? You're sitting on a toilet with your pants half down!"

"I'm playing the Sims 3, it's lovely! Absolutely _charming. _Did you know I'm married to Francis? Happened only a few minutes ago."

"Dude, I think you might be crazy... You _hate_ Francis."

"Well _of course_ I know that, you don't need to tell me who I hate. _I_ know who I hate! For instance, did you know I hate my neighbour? He's an absolute pudding! He never recycles!"

"Uh, why'd you call him a pudding? That sounds like a good thing..."

"Well _of course_ it's a good thing, we're getting engaged!... I love pudding. Could you be a dear and go tell Flying Mint bunny to get me some?"

"Sure, dude. Whatever you say... So...how'd that water cooler get in here?"

"I-I don't know, it just sort of appeared after awhile, I think it was the fairies...They're so kind, always willing to help..."

Neither of them realized that another blonde was slowly coming up behind them.

"_Actually it was me..." _said the newcomer.

"HOLY F***ING SHIT! WHAT THE CRAP WAS THAT!" screamed Alfred. He jumped so high that his head left a dent in the ceiling. "Ow, man, not cool. Your ceiling's mean...I feel kinda...dizzy..." he said as he collapsed onto the floor.

"_Oh dear, here I'll call an ambulance..."_said the barely noticeable stranger.

"OH NO! HE'S SUCCUMBED TO THE EVIL FAIRIES! I MUST CALL AN AMBULANCE!"

Arthur waddled over to a phone as the stranger covered his eyes.

"_Hello, 911, what's your emergency?_" asked the operator.

"WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW!" yelled Arthur as he slammed the phone back on the receiver. "Damn nosy people..."

Arthur waddled back over to his toilet, sat down and resumed his fantasy life. The stranger looked over the scene. He had been coming back over the past three days to make sure that Arthur was still alive, he had even brought in a water cooler and had been changing it whenever it ran out. It was almost like having a hamster, except a hamster wouldn't be as crazy or insulting.

Within a few hours, Arthur passed out from a lack of sleep. The stranger carried both him and Alfred upstairs and tucked them into bed. He cleaned up the bathroom and saved Arthur's game. He returned upstairs with a camera and took a couple pictures of the sleeping moro-_nations_ for him to use as blackmail. As he left, he grinned and whispered to himself, "Everything is going according to plan...AHAHAHA!"

**The End.**

**A/N: **Yes, we did rip off Nigahiga at one point, and no, we were not high when we wrote this. Hope you liked our craziness!


End file.
